Saturday, September 25, 2004

john denver + blah....a lot

John Denver - timeless good music... it occured to me tonite, while i was listening to 'Annie's song' - i have heard this song millions of times in the last few (2-3) years and it still has something special about it... it touches somewhere soo deep inside of me... i guess i had forgotten in all the running around my crazy life has become that there is such a thing as 'Beautiful' music.... it makes me want to be a poet again...and write some :-)

now, thats ironical, Poetry writing has always been difficult for me.... n well, guess its like what my professor told me, my writing is too 'sylvia plath'...heheeee.. not that i am as good..but in terms of that it is very biographical... probably thats why writing - prose or verse is something which is a close held secret..something i am afraid of putting down for fear of another reading it and well.... i guess however chirpy i may be i have another layer to my personality which is quieter, and private..... actually, i like the duality of my nature... many people judge and presume people .. but i personally find it fascinating how opposite traits can and usually do integrate inside a person to create that UNIQUE mix called and known as YOU!!!!

well, i wonder what life has in store, i have swung wildly in my approach... from being one who used to plan well in to the future by day-dreaming (offcourse) and to now, when life has put me in a place where i am taking it literally 1 day at a time.... n i am not living in the moment and being spiritual... but more my emotions and my brain - neither can handle more than 1 day at a time...well, as they say, FULL CIRCLE - i am pretty much back to where i was.... and the only difference is that i am older... more mature - i hope so, a little more battle worn - definitely.... direction less - yep... and i guess hurting a little too.. i guess when u build too many dreams on the basis of 1 factor in life..and then that factor changes............. and it changes your life and i guess a little YOU as well forever.

well, I know that though i am on Square one.. i am definitely stronger for it..... and this is what i need to remember, LIFE is ALL about LESSONS.... accept, learn and move on :-) {if only, it was that easy}.

but, ya, now i KNOW MYSELF better......and that is sooo IMPORTANT...now i hope to give myself and my life a CHANCE... something which i think i deserve........

phew.... that's a lot of blogging for one time...........but i think it makes some sense!!!!

well, another weekend already, i still remember last fri when i blogged..... well, axn plan fr this weekend is also pretty much the same: sleep, complete project, n this time catch a movie.. probably go for 'bourne supremacy' - the 1st part was good.. so hopefully so will this be!

until tomorrow............. when hopefully i will Blog some more :-)


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